holding onto patience wearing thin

Paramore- Decode

I need music.

Alot.

Right Now...I feel like I'm going to break.

I think there's something wrong with me. I can't smile fully at all. I hate that feeling.

I'm starting to hate this college shit. It feels like a cage. It's like every step is planned and there's no room for freedom of thought.



Rangers by A Fine Frenzy...amazing...cant stop listening to it...

"Maybe we don't wanna be found."

I need to do something new. I can't believe that fucking excuse for an internship.

I need something good. I need more than one thing. I need to focus. How could I fail so horribly in physics.

And wasn't the point of not having lunch and art as AP to focus more on art?

That's not happening...at all...

I can't think straight. By worrying about relationships and how they'll change in the future...I'm missing out on handling the present.



Paramore- Hallelujah...

My day--->>>>

National Portfolio Day:

MICA- The lady was just so happy and and actually impressed with my stuff...it made me so happy...haha...prolly the highlight of my day...idk if a passed or not...idk. Prolly did...but she didn't say anything about that.

Then.

Tyler School of Art- The guy looked through my stuff like "wtf is this?? why is she here??" He gave me a face. It was hell. Ugh. But...kinda reluctantly...he passed my portfolio for admission.

But then...

The School Art Institute of Chicago- The lady loved my altered book...she liked my bigger stuff too...but she really like my voice that came thru the book. I was really surprised and happy about that. And she passed my portfolio. :-D

note: around between tyler and chicago i got my period. It was not a fun time. It took so much self control not to break down crying....(unfortunately/ fortunately) the tears came later.




Arthur Russel- A little lost

So life is really hard right now...It all of a sudden and It's all really intense. I need something to come out of me to keep me grounded.

I can feel the earth spinning and gravity is working overtime and.....neglect air resistance...(fuck you physics)

insert scream here--------> *******!!!!!!*******!!!!!!

maybe i need therapy.

Things that make me worry very much: my lil sister...school...my girlfriend...my mother...my family...my grandmother...money...life.

Keep in mind that this is all related to the future. My future. Our future. Their future. The future.

Back to the future.



A lil vlog by a fine frenzy is above this type type...it made my mood a bit brighter...

Oh gnome you didn't....!

hang out with the mushrooms all nice and cozy...say i love yoooooouu!!!

And now I feel kinda good...not amazing but...I'm lucky to be in a herd place now. Cuz some people are in no place and are going nowhwere...

I'm glad I know and have that human touch. Nothings perfect. And that's perfect.