OCD

Ok...I know that I should separate myself completely from her. But it's hard as fuck. Like seriously...

Maybe once school starts it'll be easier.

I hope it is. Idk if i wanna fall out of love tho. I just don't know. I mean we're on good terms now but every time we talk i'm pulled in again. I just want her. Point blank. I want her with me.

I hate how I'm flying around in circles. In other peoples eyes I'm being stupid...and I should just leave it alone and stop thinking about her. She has a girlfriend I know that. I feel pathetic about that part. She's with someone else and I'm still in this spot where i can't stop thinking about her.

I even fantasize about her. Might be TMI but IDC. ;-)

I don't want to feel like a lost puppy who keeps coming back even though every time i get my teeth kicked in by the person i want love from. Hm.

I know she doesn't mean it and she's very sorry. But now i sound like a wife sticking up for her abusive husband. PSSHHHHH.

I just feel helpless and like the more i ponder, the less to a decision i come closer to. Maybe the decision was already made for me. That is fucking annoying if it's true.



(Tegan and Sara- Back in your Head)

I didn't do anything. She left. I want more of her. Simple. Complicated.

And it's getting boring too, since i already know my stance- confusion. I know what i want but i don't know if i should or can have it.



(MCS- Everything's Alright)