human bean. significant bean.

Hahaha. ok. so i figured sum stuff out.

And i'm ready.

For whatever happens next. I'll tuff this out.

And I'll accept the outcome because that's life.

I've learned that although it takes a lot of work and elbow grease and love energy to build something beautiful...it takes one second to tear it down.

I'm holding this thing up with my bear hands and I'm feeling froggy, yo.


Hope it all works out. Stearing away from the negative feelings and the bitterness that seems to be creepin up on me like ants on syrup.

(((((((((((Find my sweetness with or without you. Because I don't wanna live in the past. I want to look ahead and you're making it really hard to.)))))))))))

I want the world to read to read this.

idky. just do. feelin the openness right now.

Oooooh that was humiliating though...ugh...ew. practically forced her to talk to me. I can't believe it came down to that. all in 5 days.

I thrive on communication and consistency when its possible. And...i'm not getting it.

That's the meaning of halfway when you want whole. When i want whole. I want whole.

AND I WANT IT NOW.

OMG that reminds me of my horniness predicament.

o.O UGH. SUCKS.

why cant a hottie like me (tee hee) get sum. at the snap of a finger!!!

***SNAP SNAP SNAP***

:-( none came. i gets no love....

lol i prolly sound crazy but i have mad energy right now. lol but i don't wanna do anything except type.

song written by Princess (slightly dedicated to me) (but not really lol)
called counting days!!! it's awesum!!! she's awesum!!! <333

It was exactly what i woulda wrote when i heard it...totally my mood right now...




ugh...guerilla aim and text is not my style. neither is jealousy.

I finally saw the l-word!!! yayness!!! can't wait for next sunday!!!

...today my sd locked my mom out a the bedroom...i wanna cut his manhood off...as if he truly has one.

You do not put the wife in a situation in which she is humiliated and disrespected. You just don't.
Escpecially in front of the kids.

Because one of those kids will rise up and bring a knife along for the jump...bitch.

Recognize.

anyway...

songtime...

Nevermind me by Maria Mena.

also my mood.



"i'll just cast shadows on your wall"

Why does she think i owe her anything? She certainly doesn't owe me anything. If you love a person then you will give and give and not expect anything. Btu don'texpect anything bad either. I am trying to keep up with the changing tide but i might swim off in the other direction...:-?

If no response is given.

I understand hard work. Completely. I've done it. So it's not fair for me to be compared to a lil kid (disrespect and voiding any security that i can actually talk to her about my feelings for a while).

I would prefer to be taken seriously. Please and thank you. Before i rise up from this chair and cut you.

And on top of that...be accused of not appreciating her. I haven't shown anything but that. My momentary frustration and anger does not void anything we have worked for.

Each other. Because that's how it is.

I just want her to hold me.

Is that too much to ask?...I hardly ever ask.

Right...?

Well?

Is it...?

I hope I'm still the first thing on her mind when she wakes up...She certainly is mine. But she has to realize that if words become stronger and take the place of your actions then somethings up.

I don't want special things to be made up to me. I want them to just be. Because of they're special then the moment passes.

But I don't ask for much.

just a "good morning baby i missed you".

that used to happen. but no...

it went missing. I'm searching very hard to find it...cuz when i find it...it'll be the best feeling ever.

homecoming.

cuz i feel like i got kicked out.



Adele- cold shoulder

:-/ odd.

"so where you been then?"

hm i feel nauseous.

ima drink sum juice.



so in like with this song...lol...keri hilson turning me on...:-P

Love her attitude...;-)

Say she was bored of you what would you do?

I would...um...?

answer will come when that happens.

knock on wood. Ugh...now i want noone to read this...

i just became a glutton for punishment.

...Bulleye...

Yea i'll take the risk. And a numba 10, too...(damn im hungry.)

hm...i don't like feeling desperate and in a corner. I'm normally quietly confident. I guess. Well i'm biased cuz i'm talking about me...but forreal...

im not the shit. but i'm not a pile of it either. blah...bad analogy. brought on by days of silence.

"If i wanted silence, i would whisper. if i wanted rejection, i would audition. if i didn't love you...you would know."

What else is there to say? I've said alot. I mean...i got no real answer but I've spoken. I'll keep on doing it though. Because that's my hearts promise. Until it's not right anymore.

((((...no more now sweet child...we know ur delicate...we're just waiting for her to realize the depth of your being. And for her to realize her own depth...)))

BYE.