sync list

So I finally got limewire on my comp in b-town. New music on my juke! woot woot! But...i have no headphones.....figures.

Today was horrendous. I just couldn't beleive how many times i came close to tears. For so many reasons but for basically no reason...ugh.

Fucking college and my fucking birthday...and the rain...and the girl...and just...no down time with anyone. I just wanna relax. Just chill...not worry if anything is right or wrong...ya know.

Cuz i'm tired. I just am...

At least inspritation found me during the last few days...I've been doing sum stuff that's actually good in art...I'm happy about that.

But it definitely came at sum cost. I dont really know what right now...but i think its for the better. :-I

Seether's Rise Above this is playing in my head...but so Janelle Monae's Viloet Starrs....

But i'm a bit too lazy to find it on youtube right now. I think I'm waiting for a call but i dont know...She seems a bit distracted right now...so It'll prolly be short...like hey i'm calling to say goodnight...

Even that is cool...i wish she'd tell me what's wrong...I mean...

Eventually...

Maybe i could help...but then maybe not. But i just wanna be there. How can i do that when i don't know whats happening?...blah...so many questions...

I'm an alien from outerspace...

And I'm here to save the world...haha...eventually. Somebody's world i guess.

Sometimes I feel so small...like kinda worthless. idk why. It just happens randomly...Like something happens and I suddenly can't keep my head up.

Or on straight. My head is going around in circles...but that doesn't mean i'm lost...

I know exactly where I am.

It's nine in the afternoon...your eyes are the size of the moon...

Sigh...ok. nothin else to write. I would write abou how much I'm feeling...but I don't feel like it. But i'm feeling really emotional...

I need to move forward and stop sleeping so much. I think the less sleep i get...the more extreme my feelings get. Or maybe the other way around.

I'm wired yet I'm standing still...and bouncing around on my tippy toes.

Oooooh...can't wait can't wait can't wait. Just hope it comes. Just hope she comes. Just hope they come.

New music...new thoughts...new attitude...makes the same sitch...very...

Different.

hm...hope is all i have. hope is not all i need. maybe i should start goingto church. It never did me wrong...so yea maybe.

Maybe i need a new focus...A new outlook.

I said i wouldn't wait...but it seems like i am. It's kind of unnavoidable.

And what's with all these attacks on my person these days? ugh...am i a glutton for punishment??

Like wtf?

But.

Whatever. It's all ok. Not great. Not even good. But i'll stop complaining. Because it could be worse (knock on wood).

whatever... i decided to find janelle.



and the sirens go...