Even the stars hideaway...

So so many tragedies have happened while my life has just been getting back into order it seems.

Cutting girls and dying family and locked up friends. Like WTF does all this happen?

And i can't do anything about it except say i love you. What can words do though?

I'm not really sure. And saying i love you to to my former friend would seem very crazy and might fall on deaf ears.

But.

Maybe that's what she needs. Nobody should hurt themselves because other people will do that for you. Love is all you should have for yourself. Not hate or disgust or anything that would make you hurt yourself.

I love z adn her boyfriend. I love them together. I don't know how we're (they're)gonna handle this.

But IDK. I don't know anything. That's my downfall as a human being i guess....

I don't know why other people's problems affect me so much...I really do feel their pain...I wanna help in any way possible i don't even care if it doesn't help my situation at all. Cause that's what i have to do. Idk why...i just do.

I just want everyone to be happy man...


I hope that when i become whatever artist i become i can explain it better than words can.




(Hideaway by The Weepies)

But now i'm sitting here...really should be writing my college essay...really wanna draw z and use acrylic oil pastel on canvas...

yea...that would make me zone out for a good few hours...

But lazytown is on the t.v. and it's really annoying me...and i dont have acrylic...or canvas...

i have drawing paper and oil pastel...hm.

should i wait for the michaels gift card? of just use what i have?



(My heart by Paramore)

I'm hungry...i haven't eaten yet...



(Across the Universe by Fiona Apple)

I'm contemplating the universe on an empty stomach.